The Letters
by magicormuggle
Summary: Roderich finds letters from Gilbert durring his time with Ivan durring the Cold War. Written with ImNotAPsychopath
1. Chapter 1

Roderich blinked and looked at the fallen box in shock as the letters fell and scattered the floor when he was trying to reach for music. He picked up a letter and began to read.

_Roderich,_

_I don't know why I write these letters, I'm never going to send them, but being with Ivan makes me want to try to reach out to you. I miss you and look forward to seeing your smiling face again._

_Love,_

_Gil_

Roderich gasped as he read the letter and reached for another.

Gil walked into the room, only in a towel, "Yo specs! Do you know where my flag boxers are?" he asked as he neared the other male and the albino's face began to blush as he looked at all the papers on the floor.

Roderich flushed as he tried to hide the letters behind his back, "How am I supposed to know." He snapped. "I'm not an undergarment tracker."

"You did laundry last." He muttered as he walked over to the pile and grabbed the letters, "I was wondering where these were."

Roderich tried to grab them back only to stop at Gilbert's look.

Gilbert looked at him and shook his head, "These were never meant to be read." He stuffed most of them back into the box.

"Gilbert," Roderich muttered softly

"Wass?" he was shaking now as he saw the dates as he felt every scar from the Cold War burn like fire like a fresh wound.

Roderich placed a cool, soothing hand and took the letters away, setting them on the table as he led Gil to the couch.

Gil didn't say anything as he sat there. He looked at the floor in shame.

Roderich tilted his head up gently as he sat next to him. "Gilbert, please talk to me."

"I don't want to talk about the Cold War…I don't want to talk about what happened behind that wall."

Roderich's hand dropped to his side, disappointment and hurt suddenly flooding through him but he quickly covered it up by standing and gathering the letters.

"I don't want you to read them," he said. "You get to read them when I'm dead." He was stupid and weak for keeping those letters.

Roderich clenched his jaw. "Fine." He whispered before walking out of the room, hiding the tears from Gilbert.

Gilbert looked at the box of letters and grabbed them and let the tears fall, "I can't fake it now…It did happen." He shook and cried as he sat there.

Roderich leaned against the wall as tears fell from his eyes while he bit his lip, shaking from silent sobs.

Gil felt for the scar that was in his hair, it was from the well-known pipe that was Ivan's. He continued to cry as he held the spot.

Roderich swallowed before walking back into the room and found Gilbert clutching his head. Roderich winced. He knew what lay there. He walked over to the albino and wrapped him in his arms silently before kissing the scar.

"Fuck him…" Gil sobbed as he leaned against Roderick. "I wish I could just forget."

"I know darling. I do too." Roderich peppered gentle kisses all over Gilbert's head, face and neck.

Gil curled up next to him, "This is unawesome." He sobbed.

"It's fine, libe." Roderich soothed.

Gil looked up at him and tried to calm himself down. "I don't know why I kept them…Those stupid letters."

Roderich kissed his forehead. "I like the letters." He murmured.

"You won't like a lot of them…"

"I bet I would."

Gil looked in the box and pulled out a letter.

_Rod, _

_I ran away again…I couldn't even get to the border, if I could at least get there the soldiers would at least kill me and I would be free of this cold hell. I don't want to die yet though, I want to see you again, I want to see your smiling face before I die, I don't want to die here. If I'm here any longer it may actually happen. _

_I will always love you, from Gilbert. _

Roderich swallowed but nodded, acknowledging him to continue.

Gil pulled out another letter and read.

_Roderich, _

_I wish I had Old Friz's flute…At least then, I would have some music, I miss listening to you play the piano. I miss music in general. I can't even listen to the radio. Ivan doesn't want me to know what's going on outside of Russia. I'm slowly learning how to speak it, Russia that is, so at least I understand some of this stupid shit that they are saying. I'm always thinking of you. _

_Love, Gil _

Roderich kissed his forehead soothingly and nodded for him to continue.

"I cant…the memories hurt." Gil cleared his eyes of the tears.

"That's fine, libe. That was plenty for today." Roderich soothed him before pulling Gilbert onto his lap.

Gil nuzzled his neck, "If you want to read them…You can, some of them are bad though."

"It's fine, libe. I can wait until you're ready." Roderich kissed his temple gently as he rubbed his back.

"Danke," he said. He looked at the box and shook his head, "I wanted to send them to you."

"I wish you had too. Just as an assurance you were still alive-"

Roderich stopped speaking as tears choked him with his mouth against gilbert's forehead.

"I'm so sorry." He replied.

"Fine, its fine." Rodierch managed to choke out.

"I thought about you every day while I was with Ivan."

Roderich's lip trembled. "I thought about you every day as well." He said hoarsely.

Gil got up and adjusted his towel and grabbed the box, putting it back on the shelf and looked back to Roderich, "can we take a nap?"

Roderich gave a soft chuckle. "With you in the nude like that?"

"I sleep naked all the time." He shrugged.

"I'm aware. It doesn't make it any less elude." Roderich snorted.

Gil rubbed his own shoulder, "you gonna join me for a nap or not?"

"Of course, libe."

"Danke, I need a nap after all this." He gave a shaky laugh.

Roderich smiled and gave him a gentle kiss before following him.

"You know, I didn't believe it when the news came that said the wall was going to fall." He said.

"I ran all the way there." Roderich whispered.

"I was so happy to see you." Gilbert smiled.

"That was one time I dropped my dignified composure in public." Roderich smiled wryly.

"Gil opened the bedroom door and nodded his head, "I know. Keskes."

Roderich smiled before shedding his clothes as well, although with a bit more shyness than the albino.

Gil climbed into bed and watched Roderich join him. "I'll keep you save in your sleep if you do the same for me."

Roderich burrowed close. "Always, libe, always." He yawned and closed his violet eyes, log eyelashes fluttering against his soft cheeks.

Watching the other fall to sleep, Gilbert smiled, happy to have Roderich there and he too soon fell asleep.

* * *

A/N: Yay for more sadness! I dont know. -shrugs- this was done all over text..so...dont be too harsh. but pleast favorite, review...you know the drill people. And check out ImNotAPsychopath, she wants some love too.

Thanks a bunch guys!

dezi


	2. Chapter 2

A few hours later, Roderich woke up in a cold sweat. He looked over to the albino, watching him sleep. Gilbert may not have been having the most peaceful of sleep, but it was sleep never the less.

Roderich got up from the bed, placed a soft kiss on the other's forehead, pulled his boxers back on, and went back to the piano room, scanning for the box of letters.

Now that the box was in reach this time, he didn't make a mess as he pulled the box close to him, holding back tears. Roderich sat on the couch and pulled out a letter, reading what Gil had written.

_Roderich,_

_I'm in Yalta right now. It's February 11__th. __Alfred, Arthur, and Ivan are sitting there in the room while I sit outside of it, listening to what they're talking about. I know they are planning to split up West and I. They're talking about what's going to happen to Poland and something called the United Nations too._

_Do you know Alfred wants to divide Germany into five different parts? And Arthur he wants to divide us into Prussia and Austria-Bavaria; away from the rest of Germany. Even though Ludwig's so weak right now that the war is over, they still think he's a threat. Ivan doesn't like the thought of a section of Germany being put under Francis' control but I think it's the best decision they've made all day. Keskeskes. I love you and I'll write soon._

_Gilbert. _

Roderich placed the letter down, remembering the news of the split of Germany into the east and west. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, picking up another letter.

_Specs, _

_I heard Ivan talking to his leader about cutting off supply shipments to West. He wants to starve out Berlin! Mien got what am I to do? Roderich, please keep Ludwig and his people safe. _

_Love, _

_Gil_

Tears brimmed in his violet eyes as he set the letter down, remembering when the power went out in West Berlin and when the supplies weren't being sent. He had prayed long and hard for Ivan to stop that mess.

_Roddy, _

_It's been 320 days since the Berlin blockade started. I've heard that Alfred and the Allies have send 1.5 million tons of food to West Berlin. I didn't think I would ever hear that news. Roderich, I'm so happy that something's finally going right for Ludwig that the awesome me is actually crying! I have a feeling this means the war will be over soon. _

_I can't wait to hold you again._

_Love,_

_Gilbert. _

Looking at the old paper, it was easy to see where the albino's tears had fallen. Fresh tears joined them as the Austrian shook his head. How foolish the Prussian had been to think it would end that easily.

_Rod, _

_I started an uprising with the other East Germans on June 17__th__ that'll surely make the history books! Keskeskes. It didn't last long though and I got in huge trouble with Ivan. He locked me away for a few days with no food. I'm okay though. I told him I'd be good and I was sorry._

_Gil_

Roderich put the letters down, unable to read them anymore. He shook his head and blinked back unshed tears. If only it had been a dream. If only it had never happened.

"Roderich?" He turned his head to see his adorably sleepy Prussian in his flag boxers, yawning.

"What are you doing?" He opened his drowsy crimson eyes wider in concern.

"I just . . . I wanted to read more," Roderich replied softly, sniffling as the tears he'd been able to hold back finally fell. "I wanted to know what you wrote to me," he sobbed. "I'm sorry liebe."

Gilbert sat down and pulled the stricken Austrian into his arms, holding him as he peppered kisses everywhere and murmured soothing words. "It's alright."

A small pause was announced as Gilbert soothed Roderich. "I tried to write to you about everything that happened." He whispered. "Everything I was hearing."

Roderich sat in his lap silently, listening intently to his beloved.

"When the wall fell and I got to see you and Ludwig, it was like a dream come true," Gilbert murmured. "I had missed you both so much," He swallowed slowly. "I was so afraid Ludwig wasn't going to be there," His voice dropped to a soft whisper. "I was afraid I wasn't going to make it."

Gilbert cleared his eyes before he actually let the tears fall, letting his gaze drop onto the box of letters.

The couple sat in silence, holding each other tightly like they'd never let go.

"Bruder? Roderich?" The voice of the West German brother echoed in the house.

"We're in the piano room, Lud," Gilbert called, standing and waiting for his younger brother to come into the room. When he did so, Gilbert attacked him into a hug.

Ludwig gave a shocked look, "Was is going on?"

"Ich liebe dich, kline bruder," Gilbert sobbed as he hugged Ludwig tightly.

Ludwig glanced at Roderich in confusion as he hugged Gilbert back, "Ich liebe dich, osten," He murmured. "But what's going on?" He asked slowly as Gilbert pulled away.

"We were reading letters Gilbert wrote to me during the Cold War," Roderich whispered as he stood up.

Ludwig looked at his older brother again before hugging him a little tighter as tears brimmed in the blue eyes of the German from those memories. "I was so happy to see you on the other side of the wall, East," He murmured softly,

"Me too, West," Gilbert replied as he gave a tender look to his Austrian lover, knowing he'd gotten the silent message of love. Roderich gave a soft smile back, violet eyes still slightly tearful as he let the brothers hug, wishing with them that history could have just been a nightmare.


End file.
